Ode to James
James, you irreverent Brushwagg, unsummarized by card tag,
Your socks, unmatched, and your enemies dispatched,
With zero artifacts in play.
I’ve never met someone so naturally handy,
With the aesthetic of a discarded Raggedy Andy.
Your stories, some Plathian nightmare:
“With two bigoted, racist miscreants, who reeked of excrement,
did I swelter, next to an abandoned disused shelter.
It was the time of my life.”
Your arguments, petty, ankles weak, arms are heavy,
Please put away that sweater already.
You are imbued with relentless positivity, and an unceasing proclivity,
For bad jokes. James, you are, truly, a win forger.
Despite my bombs, you beat me with, what, Baloth Gorger???
Baloth Gorger? I hardly know ‘er.
James, you irreverent Brushwagg, unsummarized by card tag,
Your socks, unmatched, and your enemies dispatched,
With zero artifacts in play.
I’ve never met someone so naturally handy,
With the aesthetic of a discarded Raggedy Andy.
Your stories, some Plathian nightmare:
“With two bigoted, racist miscreants, who reeked of excrement,
did I swelter, next to an abandoned disused shelter.
It was the time of my life.”
Your arguments, petty, ankles weak, arms are heavy,
Please put away that sweater already.
You are imbued with relentless positivity, and an unceasing proclivity,
For bad jokes. James, you are, truly, a win forger.
Despite my bombs, you beat me with, what, Baloth Gorger???
Baloth Gorger? I hardly know ‘er.