General Terrible flavor texts

[Aston]

Is the Wildfire art supposed to be a volcanic eruption?

 

[Chris Taylor]

Yes, but it's old art

 

[CML]

while we're on the topic of portal cards, check it:

looks like flavor texts have reverted to a portal level

 

[PlaidMagic Cube]

5/6 flyer with a speech impediment?

 

[safra]

Pacifism is a stone cold classic and i won't stand for this assault on its honour.

never forget Jaya Ballard, the planeswalker we all wanted to be when we grew up:


The introduction of post-lorwyn planeswalkers as the main characters in flavour text does a lot for conveying the storyline but sometimes I feel like that's been an excuse to stop actually working on the content

 

[Onderzeeboot]

Yeah, Grakk is my hero. It's the Pacifism I use in my cube, because that flavor text rocks! (And the art is the stone cold nuts as well btw)

I actually don't mind the story-telling flavor texts much, I do hate the Gorilla Titan one, way too cheesy. I love puns, but... ewww... that one's sooo bad!

This one is pretty bad:

 

[James Stevenson]

stone cold nuts

What a weird expression.

 

[vennythekid]

What a weird expression.

Balls of steel yo

 

[GenericZero]

Balls of steel yo

Diamond dude eggs playa

 

[Diakonov]

I actually don't mind the story-telling flavor texts much, I do hate the Gorilla Titan one, way too cheesy. I love puns, but... ewww... that one's sooo bad!

Also that gorilla has a tail

 

[Chris Taylor]

I actually like new pacifism:

The thought of some brick shithouse orc telling some dude: "But...but...butterflies!" makes me giggle

 

[CML]

I actually like new pacifism:

The thought of some brick shithouse orc telling some dude: "But...but...butterflies!" makes me giggle

it's very close to being good but the whole "that would be sad" line is a little too nerd-style try-hard, redolent for example of Adventure Time, really though the tip of the iceberg

 

[Onderzeeboot]

it's very close to being good but the whole "that would be sad" line is a little too nerd-style try-hard, redolent for example of Adventure Time, really though the tip of the iceberg

Yeah, that flavor text would have been perfect without the second line, and without attributing it to a random warrior. Just "If I fight, I might step on a butterfly." with that art would have been perfect.

 

[vennythekid]

I quite enjoy the story Spell Snare tells

 

[Jason Waddell]

Sometimes when scrolling this thread I forget what it's about and wonder "why are people suddenly posing all these shitty cards in the Single Card Spotlight thread?"

 

[Jonas]

I've always liked these.

 

[GenericZero]

The fuck is with the "these are its last days" line? Just happened to stick or is it a reference?

 

[Jonas]

All of the armodons have it, they are in the same block originally. So, you know, like the Theriad but a bit more elephants.

 

[GenericZero]

Ah. I can dig it.

 

[Onderzeeboot]

I've always liked these.

This clearly doesn't belong in this thread. These flavor texts are awesome!

 

[Kirblinx]

A one-liner that falls a bit flat

 

[Jonas]

This clearly doesn't belong in this thread. These flavor texts are awesome!

I tried to derail towards awesome flavour texts!

 

[GenericZero]

I tried to derail towards awesome flavour texts!

You should be ashamed. Failing to derail a riptide thread is like failing to find Waldo in an open field.

 

[kevin]

.

go-go horribly overexplained puns

it's like... the original goblin bombardment saying "one mogg to aim the cannon, one to steer the rock... after the rock and the mogg are fired out of the cannon, which will cause that mogg to die when it and the rock hit the intended target"

 

[Rasmus Källqvist]

If we've cooked something and then if we're not shoving it down your throat how can we know you'll eat it?