General [Custom Card Contest] A history worth repeating (ends June 21)

I’m sorry I thought I was in the custom card thread. I wouldn’t have commented if I realized I was in the competition thread.

I thought the card was put out there to be commented on.

I am sorry
 
My only issue with the card is that it should make two 1/1 soldiers, since the 1/2 body clearly represents two inspectors working on different ends of town. ;)
 
disclaimer: I'm the mean judge on the talent show you're watching, don't take it too personally if my comments lean negative, not only are sagas hard to design well, I also just generally don't have it in me to dig up something nice to say unless I am genuinely impressed
feel free to challenge any misgivings you have about my remarks

STORY: The concept I get reading this is Musashi is a samurai, kills someone, and then either goes insane or otherwise experiences regret. I don't know how accurate that is because I don't care for real people, but it seems to roughly align with your stated goal.
MECHANICS: The +1/+1 counter feels a bit tacked on for the prompt and the mechanics it uses are kind of basic so it doesn't really get my gears turning, but basic doesn't have to be bad.
FINAL VERDICT: 3dpd but otherwise sound
STORY: A bit too mundane to receive the esteemed title of Saga, but on the whole I guess it makes sense. Feels a bit weird that the search effort is the most valuable part of the card, and not the apprehension. It does communicate the story very effectively though.
MECHANICS: As a gatekeeper of white card draw I don't like the weird white divination of the second step. It's kind of nice that detaining buys you time to use your clues.
FINAL VERDICT: Needs a bit more grandeur
STORY: It works, although it kind of feels like you gave it four chapters just because of the art, the two futures don't really resonate all that well as just having a clean three overall.
MECHANICS: I don't really like how this plays compared to how much more sense the card would make inverted, although thematically it makes more sense to go from the past to the future. I kind of wish the mechanics had more interplay though so that they would establish some form of continuity.
FINAL VERDICT: Solid concept, feel like the execution needs a little polish
STORY: I appreciate using an actual event in Magic's history, but the card does seem rather disconnected thematically. On the whole I don't feel like this card tells a cohesive story, and using blood in the first place is a bit weird to me considering the distinguishing trait of dimir vampires.
MECHANICS: A lot of the power budget is located into it being a (delayed) 2 mana reanimation spell that sets itself up for success, so I'm not entirely sure how effectively it really functions as a glue card, but I could imagine cubes with less powerful reanimation targets where it's not unreasonable at doing so.
FINAL VERDICT: Doesn't resonate with me strongly enough
STORY: The second and third line of text evokes some pretty strong imagery through their extreme effects, which I appreciate, even if said imagery takes place in Scotland.
MECHANICS: I doubt this card leads to very enjoyable gameplay, which is perhaps fitting for the card's theme. It's also not entirely intuitive that you can't remove the lore counter unless you have a target to destroy, which isn't entirely intuitive. It also warps the game around it to an extent that I don't really know if it meets the criteria.
FINAL VERDICT: Very cool card, but ultimately a bit too much
FLAVOR: The mechanics are a bit "fifty shades of vampires", but it's functional, I think it does a solid job of portraying the innistrad vampire origin story.
MECHANICS: It's a bit disappointing that so much of the cross-pollution in this card comes inherently from the blood tokens instead of the different chapters, although I guess there's an argument to be made about lifegain.
FINAL VERDICT: Functional, very printable

I'll be honest and say I wanted to give it to humpty dumpy because I love the mechanical storytelling, but being realistic with myself, I'm going to give it to Trainmaster for having a solidly well-rounded submission, even if it lacks that little extra I'm looking for in a truly Excellent Design™.
 
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disclaimer: I'm the mean judge on the talent show you're watching, don't take it too personally if my comments lean negative, not only are sagas hard to design well, I also just generally don't have it in me to dig up something nice to say unless I am genuinely impressed
feel free to challenge any misgivings you have about my remarks

STORY: The concept I get reading this is Musashi is a samurai, kills someone, and then either goes insane or otherwise experiences regret. I don't know how accurate that is because I don't care for real people, but it seems to roughly align with your stated goal.
MECHANICS: The +1/+1 counter feels a bit tacked on for the prompt and the mechanics it uses are kind of basic so it doesn't really get my gears turning, but basic doesn't have to be bad.
FINAL VERDICT: 3dpd but otherwise sound
STORY: A bit too mundane to receive the esteemed title of Saga, but on the whole I guess it makes sense. Feels a bit weird that the search effort is the most valuable part of the card, and not the apprehension. It does communicate the story very effectively though.
MECHANICS: As a gatekeeper of white card draw I don't like the weird white divination of the second step. It's kind of nice that detaining buys you time to use your clues.
FINAL VERDICT: Needs a bit more grandeur
STORY: It works, although it kind of feels like you gave it four chapters just because of the art, the two futures don't really resonate all that well as just having a clean three overall.
MECHANICS: I don't really like how this plays compared to how much more sense the card would make inverted, although thematically it makes more sense to go from the past to the future. I kind of wish the mechanics had more interplay though so that they would establish some form of continuity.
FINAL VERDICT: Solid concept, feel like the execution needs a little polish
STORY: I appreciate using an actual event in Magic's history, but the card does seem rather disconnected thematically. On the whole I don't feel like this card tells a cohesive story, and using blood in the first place is a bit weird to me considering the distinguishing trait of dimir vampires.
MECHANICS: A lot of the power budget is located into it being a (delayed) 2 mana reanimation spell that sets itself up for success, so I'm not entirely sure how effectively it really functions as a glue card, but I could imagine cubes with less powerful reanimation targets where it's not unreasonable at doing so.
FINAL VERDICT: Doesn't resonate with me strongly enough
STORY: The second and third line of text evokes some pretty strong imagery through their extreme effects, which I appreciate, even if said imagery takes place in Scotland.
MECHANICS: I doubt this card leads to very enjoyable gameplay, which is perhaps fitting for the card's theme. It's also not entirely intuitive that you can't remove the lore counter unless you have a target to destroy, which isn't entirely intuitive. It also warps the game around it to an extent that I don't really know if it meets the criteria.
FINAL VERDICT: Very cool card, but ultimately a bit too much
FLAVOR: The mechanics are a bit "fifty shades of vampires", but it's functional, I think it does a solid job of portraying the innistrad vampire origin story.
MECHANICS: It's a bit disappointing that so much of the cross-pollution in this card comes inherently from the blood tokens instead of the different chapters, although I guess there's an argument to be made about lifegain.
FINAL VERDICT: Functional, very printable

I'll be honest and say I wanted to give it to humpty dumpy because I love the mechanical storytelling, but being realistic with myself, I'm going to give it to Trainmaster for having a solidly well-rounded submission, even if it lacks that little extra I'm looking for in a truly Excellent Design™.
Hey thanks for the contest! "Fifty shades of Vampires" isn't a bad way to describe my card lol.
 
I can't believe that you didn't judge my shitpost of a card. :p

Congrats to TRAIN! I just wish that I had time/motivation to do up an actual entry (I had this kinda neat idea for a Saga version of Chance for Glory, but I couldn't figure out a good story/first chapter to go with it.)
 
Congratulations to Trainmaster for your well deserved win: yours was the card I could most imagine wanting to actually play.

Despite Mown’s claims of being a mean judge, I was quite pleased with my card being “cool but a bit much”. It reminded me of my degree results.
Results were posted in the morning and the departmental garden party took place that afternoon. Perhaps foolishly, and emboldened by several glasses of wine, I asked one of the professors what I could have done to have received a first class degree rather than an upper second, having missed the top grade by a couple of percent. He patiently explained that, to achieve an upper second, a student should show a sound grasp of knowledge and understanding; to get a first additionally required original thought and flair. My paper had caused something of a conundrum for the examiners, as I had demonstrated this flair but not the requisite level of knowledge, so I missed a first but was awarded an exhibition as a consolation prize. I thanked him, but suspect that he correctly judged I would rather receive credit for originality than for anything as prosaic as mere knowledge.

For the remainder of the party I proceeded to get the drunkest that I ever have, before or since.
 
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