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Damn, you sniped me, I was going to post Stasis lol Thrashing Wumpus

Maybe a stalemate? If Squidward attacks, Oyster doesn't block, and then nom nom time. Or you don't attack and they stare at each other for all eternity?

Giant Oyster

Unsubstantiate would probably be okay in a medium-low powered cube setting or in cubes with a higher average mana cost. Pretty likely to be underwhelming in most typical cubes. I prefer Remand and to a lesser extent Memory Lapse. There's also Venser, Shaper Savant. For general bounce...

giant slug

callous giant

auriok siege sled

Blurred Mongoose

viashino heretic

anurid brushhopper

Necropolis

squallmonger

keldon halberdier

Whoops!

Goblin Chirurgeon

intrepid hero

alabaster leech

Masticore

Khalni Garden

Ah, entity just beats it in combat. Drill Sargeant doesn't boost itself (as written or errata'd)