General Ugliest Magic Card

[Lucre]

Well what do you think?
I'm sure I can do better but this one has been coming to mind recently. It's hard for me to think of the last one that was so inelegant:

My current runner up:

Spoiler

I feel like this one was designed by some idiot census.

Gimme your best shot! Or tell me why these abortions or other ones in the list don't offend you bodily.

 

[Chris Taylor]

Also

 

[Lucre]

Dude what do you got against Garza?

 

[Onderzeeboot]

Hands down guys, come on!

 

[Jason Waddell]

 

[Chris Taylor]

 

[FlowerSunRain]

A friend of mine hates the Foglios artwork. By far the greatest offender in his mind?


He also hates


Personally, I dislike art that just conveys nothing.


Or just looks toolish

 

[Lucre]

Remember kittens rules text and inelegant design count too!

I love the artwork on cooperation, that smiling shaman is way too cute.

 

[CML]

owing to wizards gossip about the Nissa development team i bet she is ugly on the inside

here is my submission since the red ugly wedding is over

 

[Eric Chan]

I've never heard of Justin Hampton before this thread, but he might now be my favourite artist

 

[Jason Waddell]

I've never heard of Justin Hampton before this thread, but he might now be my favourite artist

Take that Ravnica Jace!

 

[James Stevenson]

Also

Yeah I still haven't seen a worse one, though Justin Whatever is a contender

 

[Lucre]

Dude I love garza zol. Check out how much unrelated text heavy shit they crammed onto that garruk. Get a load of the new legendary demon and ask yourself if you've ever seen such a fan card in your life.

Yes garza is like crap legend fodder, but it really does just look like they added to the cost of sengir vampire and this is what fell out of the machine. (plus I went out of my way to play it and stuff like Ribbons of Night and Wrecking Ball in a funsies deck. We had never seen thundermom at that point and a creature that could show up and deal 5 damage and immediately replace herself sounded like fun to me in a format with ample signets.)

There's gotta be like a million other legendary creatures that feel way more out of place and makeshift.

 

[Dom Harvey]

I submit Drew Tucker's entire corpus

 

[Lucre]

Man those are lovely pieces but are absolutely not what I would call illustration ahhahahahhaha

 

[FlowerSunRain]

I like Drew Tucker. Gravebind is a really awesome illustation, I don't know what you're talking about. Its completely claustrophobic and hopeless, exactly what the card is going for. Too bad the card is unplayable crap. Decomposition is decent, but not one of his best works, I could see hating on it, though if we are going down that road, this one is definitely his worst:


I have no idea what this is supposed to be and its ugly as shit too.

He illustrated my favorite piece of art in Magic:


Except for MAYBE:


But back to ugly cards, I always thought this was one of the worst:

 

[Lucre]

I like Drew Tucker. Gravebind is a really awesome illustation, I don't know what you're talking about. Its completely claustrophobic and hopeless, exactly what the card is going for. Too bad the card is unplayable crap. Decomposition is decent, but not one of his best works, I could see hating on it, though if we are going down that road, this one is definitely his worst:


I have no idea what this is supposed to be and its ugly as shit too.

He illustrated my favorite piece of art in Magic:

Omg no kidding, holy light is my all time favourite magic art. Again, not sure it's a great illustration but I think it's a powerfully evocative and loaded piece, especially at that claustrophobic scale. I'd kinda love to see the original.

Infernal Denizen is up there too.

 

[Diakonov]

Justin Hampton: where the flavor text is always, "Ahhhh!"

 

[FlowerSunRain]

Omg no kidding, holy light is my all time favourite magic art. Again, not sure it's a great illustration but I think it's a powerfully evocative and loaded piece, especially at that claustrophobic scale. I'd kinda love to see the original.

Infernal Denizen is up there too.

Here's a larger image from his website.

Infernal Denizen isn't bad, but I always found light of day pretty amazing. Its also the absolute polar opposite of the current art direction in Magic, which makes it interesting.

 

[FlowerSunRain]

Justin Hampton: where the flavor text is always, "Ahhhh!"

Its the subtle blend of the cheesy poses combined with a shameless disregard for anatomy that makes them so awful.

 

[Diakonov]

My favorite art had always been by Harold McNeill, but I learned recently that he is apparently some sort of neo-Nazi. o_O

Btw, I didn't realize what I was doing until I had already copied and pasted Circle of Protection: Black. I swear.

 

[Diakonov]

I really do miss that old, more abstract art style. It gave the game a much more cryptic feel to it. Another favorite:



Plus basically everything by Amy Weber.

Edit: I just remembered how much I love this one

 

[Lucre]

Old abstracted art and old abstracting storytelling were some things I really liked about the magic of yesteryear. But I know it's really not how you sell a story. Though the pulp serial quality of the weatherlight saga might work in an age like today.

It's funny in looking for the dross you guys are helping me remember some of the small section of magic cards that have something you'd probably call "Art" on them.

I think it's because they went with such slick illustration style on the kamigawa spirits and some of the weirder lorwyn cards that they were less effective. We lost the air that a spirit or elemental might be something we were just not meant to comprehend and we would look at it and just think "WTF is that?" You get a little of that with Spirit of the Night but it feels very right, we're looking at the sort of thing it takes a creative mind and a lot of liberties to convey, even if had just bitten you.

 

[GenericZero]

As far as art goes, I have a burning hatred for Terese Nielson. Some of her art is fine, don't get me wrong. Eternal Witness looks great. People enjoy Kird Ape as far as I know. But when her artwork is ugly, it goes FULL nasty. Dismember, Despise, Descendant's Path, Enter the Infinite, and all that other SUPER abstract shit just looks like a fucking mess. It's like she knows she can do good art, but enjoys fucking with people by giving us complete crap to look at instead.

As for design, I think Mindreaver is just gross. So I should want to target him with things to make him stronger, but also cuz I am also milling them out? And he starts with Goblin Piker stats? So he doesn't ever block well or live long UNLESS I dedicate auras to him? How am I ever supposed to mill them out using this guy? Oh, and I should leave mana up to counter any copies of spells I might've exiled as well, too? And lose all that work that went into beefing him up like you wanted me to? So tell me why the FUCK this is a rare? This is like if Nintendo made a Mario game where the goal is to avoid jumping at all while you gather food so Bowser can fucking eat you at the end of the level. And if your obese ass doesn't cause him to choke to death, you restart the level. Oh, and you have to play in a fat suit using a webcam or some shit. No one wanted this, so why does it exist?

 

[CML]

anyone who dislikes terese nielsen obviously needs to do more drugs. i do dislike despise and descendant's path specifically but terese nielsen likes psychedelic drugs and hot women, so i don't see what the problem is

i second dom's suggestion for drew tucker, gravebind is hideous

i passionately hate the fanservice art they've been doing lately, here's an example


vibebox should like this one