What are the worst Magic card names of all time?
General What's in a name?
- Thread starter Jason Waddell
- Start date
Dom Harvey
Contributor
I feel like Chandra's going downhill. Chandra Nalaar, you get what it says on the tin. Her name's Chandra Nalaar, so the card's called Chandra Nalaar. Very functional, almost German. Then we got Chandra Ablaze, which is cool because HOLY SHIT SHE'S ON FIRE SOMEONE HEL... oh, that's the point. Still awesome though, shame about the rules text. Now it's like guys GUYS look she knows about fire! She's an expert on fire! She's a ~master of pyres~. Well, fuck that.
FlowerSunRain
Contributor
Camel? That is the perfect name for a card that depicts a camel!
Now Balduvian Bears is a terrible name. Already there exists a card in the game called Grizzly Bears. Being a real world animal, the name is already evocative. The art matches what one would expect. The card itself is simple, but the implication is simple too: in this world of high magic, these mighty animals are mere pawns, but still fearsome enough to slay an elf.
Then, later, comes along Balduvian Bears. Now we have room to contrast! How are these creatures, born of an Ice Age in the age world different from those of our own world.
Umm, apparently they are completely identical in every way. They just have a stupid name that roadblocks one's mental image.
Now Balduvian Bears is a terrible name. Already there exists a card in the game called Grizzly Bears. Being a real world animal, the name is already evocative. The art matches what one would expect. The card itself is simple, but the implication is simple too: in this world of high magic, these mighty animals are mere pawns, but still fearsome enough to slay an elf.
Then, later, comes along Balduvian Bears. Now we have room to contrast! How are these creatures, born of an Ice Age in the age world different from those of our own world.
Umm, apparently they are completely identical in every way. They just have a stupid name that roadblocks one's mental image.
CML
Contributor
I will not hear any put-downs against Tunnel Ignus, which reminds me (and probably you) of that classic Tina Fey SNL skit. I learned a ton about English as a kid playing MTG which is why the stupid, stupid names below are so easily called to mind.
dual lands are often named feebly. "hmmm, ok, deltas are blue, and we need a black word ... polluted delta." the worst offender in this regard is without a doubt bloodstained mire.
sword of war and peace strikes me as criminally uninspired in mechanics and nomenclature.
a card named angel of glory's rise fills me with visceral embarrassment to be playing this game. ditto pretty much all the fanservice in K block.
i'll have to think of some more that aren't tourney staples
edit: i also hate how there exists both neverending torment and everlasting torment
dual lands are often named feebly. "hmmm, ok, deltas are blue, and we need a black word ... polluted delta." the worst offender in this regard is without a doubt bloodstained mire.
sword of war and peace strikes me as criminally uninspired in mechanics and nomenclature.
a card named angel of glory's rise fills me with visceral embarrassment to be playing this game. ditto pretty much all the fanservice in K block.
i'll have to think of some more that aren't tourney staples
edit: i also hate how there exists both neverending torment and everlasting torment
I find Gideon, Champion of Justice a bit corny.
CML
Contributor
like flavor text and set names (i was certain dragon's maze was an asian porn site), card names have gotten much worse in recent years, and most of it is the 'corny' problem. (high points for the mtg creative team: mirage block, alliances, original RGD, time spiral block, coldsnap -- though i realize the self-parody of the last two is lost on 99% of the market. lolita was a commercial failure compared to harry potter...)
Dom Harvey
Contributor
We have a winner, fellas. 'Polukranus, World Eater'...
Why rule out the musical?