In Honor of Magic 2014: The Eight Worst Draft Formats of All Time

by: CML

 

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Who’s for the Game?

Here’s a sobering idea: With the rise of New World Order, the Modern Magic card, for the most part, is designed with either Limited or Constructed in mind.

This neat dichotomy fails to explain away cards like Savageborn Hydra, Hoard-Smelter Dragon, or Pack Rat, which exist solely to ruin games of Limited and depress the cracker of prize packs. It also doesn’t account for smash hits like Hindervines, Restore the Peace, or Showstopper, which depress the cracker of drafting packs.

“M14’s weakness as a draft environment is at least partially due to a raging Staff infection.”

So things aren’t quite that bad. They’re worse! Sets like Modern Masters come out, and the draft aficionado wonders why the other sets aren’t as good as Modern Masters, and Modern Masters isn’t as good as it could be.

“In the event of Constructed, I’m a hostage.”

 

Abolish the Draft

Take heart, though! It used to be that nobody drafted anything, ever. The lack of Limited in Magic’s early history severely worsened its development. Think of it this way: what are ninety percent of commons doing in every set, except as draft fodder?

“I could design worse when I was seven.”

 

So drafting was born. Mirage-Visions-Weatherlight was the first block you could actually draft, but Invasion-Planeshift-Apocalypse was the first block where Limited was directing the design — the first Cube, if you will. Some claim Limited begins with MVW, others with IPA — in the interests of not running out of terrible draft environments, I’m going to start with MVW and work my way down the list.

 

8. Old core sets

I imagine these drafts were as often dodged as those for Vietnam, but maybe (as in Israel or South Korea) there was no way of avoiding them. These sets were absolutely massive — up to 449 cards in Fifth Edition, which we looked down upon, as spoiled children — and filled with unplayable cards; your chances of cracking a Birds of Paradise in one of those fin-de-siècle boxes was about as bad as that of getting a Liliana in a box of Innistrad.

Redeeming aspect: With all those white-bordered lands running around, you could just grab a stack and ghetto out your Constructed deck of choice. If you drafted Alpha, there was some chance of getting value.

Cube lesson: Cut cards like Vizzerdrix.

 

7. Lorwyn block

Drafting tribal is about as uninteresting as you’d expect. You were screwed if you didn’t get a tribe, not all the tribes were good, and the curve was often surprisingly high.

Redeeming aspect: A surfeit of activated abilities repelled new players, leading to the worst commercial downswing in Magic history.

Cube lesson: Tribal(ism) is the cancer of Africa.

 

6. Magic 2012

Basically Magic 2014 without much removal. Once, I won a draft with only three card types. Aggro is supported here, though, which is more than I can say for the Modo Cube.

Redeeming aspect: During summer 2011, I was forced to find something else to do with my Friday nights.

Cube lesson: Go easy on the enchantments.

 

5. Scars of Mirrodin block

“I’ll choose to draw.”

“Yep, sounds good, I’m about ready to do something else with my evening.”

“No, I’ll be on the draw.”

Redeeming aspect: The storyline makes it more likely that Wizards will print Komeback to Kamigawa before Scars of Mirrodin Redux: The Second (Psychic) Surgery. Also: Glistening Oil, fracking, etc.

Cube lesson: Heed the Poison Principle; support aggressive decks; cut Swords.

 

4. Magic 2014

While games of M12 were like ripping off a band-aid, games of M14 are the slow and exquisite torture of being digested by a self-satisfied Blue mage or Sarlacc. You’d think they’d’ve learned from their design mistakes …

Redeeming aspect: … even if they didn’t, you can learn!

Cube lesson: Vary and limit your removal; support aggressive decks.

 

3. Masques block

Back in the 20th century (my younger readers will find this hard to believe) card shops were even worse than they are now. Their interiors were dirty, their locations remote, their life-spans the stuff of Rousseau or Sierra Leone, their proprietors hucksters of a Jerry-Lundegaard variety. I was 11 years old when Masques came out, and not even I would buy much of it. Underpowered? Check. Tribal? Check. Bad color balance? Check.

Redeeming aspect: Misdirection has cool art?

Cube lesson: Do everything differently.

 

2. Urza’s block

Before there was Blue in M14, there was Black in Urza’s-block draft.

Here are some Black commons: Pestilence, Befoul, Expunge, Duress

Here are some other commons: Monk Realist, Launch, Headlong Rush, Gaea’s Bounty

Redeeming aspect: Though billed as the “Enchantments Cycle,” Urza’s block was actually centered around the slightly less dumb card type of Artifact.

Cube lesson: Balance your colors; don’t lard your format with a terrible third set.

 

1. Avacyn Restored

More than enough ink has been spilled on AVR’s Limited suckage — I’ve never seen a format yield so easily to a simple mathematical analysis — but I’ll just say that if I wanted to play a format with awful color-balance and a high curve, yet such a steep power curve and lack of removal that the games ended within the frame of a few spells cast by each player, I’d play the Modo Cube.

Redeeming aspect: To be fair, the individual cards are by and large wonderful, but that makes AVR all the more disappointing — so it headlines the list!

Cube lesson: Design with people over the age of four in mind. (Ahem, Modo Cube.)

 

Thanks for reading!

CML

@CMLisawesome

By: CML

There are many reasons Seattle is a great place to live — great food; the opportunity to hear WotC employees cry like overachieving schoolchildren when you beat them at unsanctioned events; a gender ratio that’s slightly better than a Yukon mining town; beautiful bodies (of water, views of which you can enjoy from your car while stuck in traffic) — but Mirkwood is my favorite time of year. For three months, I hole up at Card Kingdom like some library-bound bore and practice Legacy. I used to do this at another LGS, existing on Doritos, sleeping on sell-through Chronicles commons, defecating out the window, and sweating into the dehumidifier, but when Card Kingdom opened, I became classy. Now I eat grilled cheese at Café Mox, which offers every kind of pleasure except hard alcohol, televised sports, a discotheque, and another gender. Now I sleep on beds of digitized love-letters from OKCupid. Now I defecate on myself when I play Legacy. Now I sweat my friends when they’re in the top 8. Just kidding! After I lost round two, I drove back home. I hope the rest of my car found rides.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. We have an active Eternal scene here. The Legacy players look down upon the Modern players, and the Modern players look down upon themselves. Every Monday a group of grizzled regulars gathers in the windowless dungeon of Card Kingdom to play the format where winning a GP won’t buy you a deck. It’s a cesspit of mediocrity, but I mean this as a high compliment. Legacy is hard, and if you’re mediocre at it, you’ll have a huge edge on the field. “Winning the battle of mistakes” is a phrase that comes to mind.

That Monday I sleeved up a little something different than usual. Merfolk is often a good choice at Card Kingdom, since the field is full of people who think they’re smarter than everyone else and therefore can’t “spot the fish.” The UWR Delver list was giving me fits, though, so rather than be negative about it I decided to praise the gods for making tempo players too stupid to not include fringe playables like Swords to Plowshares, Stoneforge Mystic, and Grim Lavamancer, while relying on Green graveyard-based creatures that do nothing against cards nobody plays like Rest in Peace, instead. My sunny disposition wasn’t going to turn my fish into a playable deck, though, so I ordered something a little different. “Batman” is a new addition to our Legacy group who just graduated high school and somehow has all the Legacy staples ever. He’s sassy, he’s 18, and he’s rich. In other words, he’s perfect — except it’s a he. “Fish With Shroud” sounded like a good way to stop getting Plowed, so I sleeved up this:

MEATHOOKS

Lands (20) 3 Wasteland 3 Mutavault 3 Tundra 3 Tropical Island 8 Blue fetches / Windswept Heaths Creatures (20) 4 Muscle Sliver 4 Sinew Sliver 4 Predatory Sliver 4 Crystalline Sliver 4 Galerider Sliver Spells (20) 2 Force of Will 4 Brainstorm 4 Daze 4 Stifle 2 Swords to Plowshares 4 AEther Vial

Sideboard (15) 1 Force of Will 1 Cursed Totem 2 Spell Pierce 2 Harmonic Sliver 1 Life from the Loam 2 Rest in Peace 1 Relic of Progenitus 1 Thalia, Guardian of Thraben 2 Meddling Mage 2 Gaddock Teeg

The tournament started auspiciously, with a win against a balding loudmouth who uses Magic like Joyce used literature — as an escape from his failed medical studies. Between that and his choice of the stone-unplayable Miracles, this round was basically a bye. Meanwhile, a pudgy Asian man with a pretentious wrist brace was rubbing his nose like a Rick James whose dealer had run out of Claritin, and a suburbanite with a goatee was trying to convince himself Progenitus was good against a field of Terminus and Liliana. I lost a round to whatever, beat a Tezzerator deck, then lost another round to whatever. On Tuesday we tested at my house with Batman and a sleazy cable salesman, and though I won one game against Punishing Jund with a lone Galerider Sliver on the board, the deck sucked. It turns out basic Islands and abusing Standstill are a nice upside to certain Vial aggro strategies. Who knew? I tried UWR myself, but cantripping turned out to be too hard, because I am an imbecile.

We Pondered our options and Brainstormed easy deck ideas, but it wasn’t until Batman said “mono-Red” that the choice seemed Preordained:

MONO-RED COMBO ('Shooting the Moon')

Spells (41) 4 Emrakul, the Aeons Torn 4 Worldspine Wurm 3 Griselbrand 3 Inferno Titan 4 Simian Spirit Guide 4 Sneak Attack 4 Through the Breach 2 Pyromancy 4 Sensei's Divining Top 4 Blood Moon 4 Seething Song 1 Lotus Petal

Lands (19) 5 Mountain 4 Arid Mesa 1 Scalding Tarn 4 Sandstone Needle 3 Ancient Tomb 2 City of Traitors Sideboard (15) 3 Trinisphere 2 Defense Grid 3 Pyroclasm 2 Chalice of the Void 2 Grafdigger's Cage 3 Red Elemental Blast

I brought the deck to Card Kingdom FNM, the best place to not play FNM and feel superior for playing Legacy and drinking seven-dollar craft pear ciders. My friend Aaron was there. I squashed his Shardless like a BUG, with Sneak Attack playing the part of Impromptu RAID. The next two days I pilloried Punishing Jund and tied with Miracles (again, unplayable, but if people didn’t play unplayable decks there would be no Legacy).

The morning of Mirkwood I woke up early — 10:40 — and drove my van-load of three up to Arlington. Arlington is a small town halfway to Canada; at least when I usually drive in that direction, there is the promise of frat parties or, past that, a new, barbarian country that feels like America in the nineties. The tournament site (“Mirkwood,” presumably after the title tournament — not sure where they came up with that one) was nice: with its ramshackle podium, heirloom instruments, delicious food, in-cel nerds, etc. it felt like the Seattle of my adolescence. I must give unironic props to Joe Bono and some other people for running a great event.

In round 1 I was paired against a random playing Death and Taxes. I’d seen him somewhere before, but I didn’t remember where — my best guess is Round 8 of April’s Legacy Open. His eyes were bloodshot from fatigue, and they turned even redder as I ruined Karakas with more annihilator triggers than Chavez. Death and Taxes: a socialist paradise indeed! Then some other stuff happened. Maybe I’ll splash Black for Dread of Night next time.

In round 2 I played Tim “OMGClayAkhen” Aten. After I showed in Sneak Attack and squished his Demon with a couple of Worldspine Wurms, he morosely remarked it was “the second game in a row [he]’d had turn-two Show and Tell and lost.” In game two I kept an opener of some spells and some lands that were Ancient Tombs. I spun the dreidel over and over again, but no Ararat would spring forth from my library. Meanwhile, Tim was discarding. There is nothing quite like going to four life off your dreidels and not finding the promised land, just another Tomb. It was in that moment that I understood the ordeal of Anne Frank. In game three I had the death wish, so I just lost to countermagic and Jace. Who the hell boards in Jace against mono-red? He can’t even survive after bouncing a Goblin Guide.

On the drive home, there was traffic near Everett, which pissed me off because nobody should live there. I then went to the soccer game, watched the Sounders win, and got called unmentionables by a joyless cow — it was nearly a perfect tournament; the only thing missing was a Portland Timbers career-starting injury. (Ha! Just a little Portland-unemployment joke for you.) It must have been weird to be a Portland fan at the Clink, it’s not like poetry slams attract crowds of 65,000. After that, I got kinda drunk with Aaron and his girlfriend and lamented my perpetual misfortune. Someone texted me that three of the Card-Kingdom suburbanites had made Top 4 (including the insufferable former med student), so I drank some more and forgot about it, until I was assured they hadn’t won, so I remembered it and typed it here. I would play Shooting the Moon again in a heartbeat, but Batman has already promised to build me Waterfalls. Cascade is a nice mountain range, and cataracts are clouding my Ancestral Vision. I predict it’ll be a good choice after Theros, too, since the last big set had only a marginal impact on Legacy. You might even be able to splash White for a pointless Enlightened Tutor package. If you do, play four Plateaus — they’re not gonna get any cheaper, though they might just rise for a bit, then level off.

Keep it dusty,
CML

Theros Previews: Thassa, God of the Sea; Ember Swallower; and More!
by: CML

After a long, hot, wet American summer, the too-long Standard season has changed into a better season — Theros spoiler season! Though I haven’t been this eager for a new set since I was a kid, there’s something about big sets that’s always exciting.

In recent years, Innistrad gave us cards like Snapcaster Mage, Delver of Secrets, Geist of Saint Traft, Past in Flames, and Liliana of the Veil, while Return to Ravnica produced Deathrite Shaman, Abrupt Decay, Sphinx’s Revelation, and shocklands halfway between the price point of “old Ravnica duals” and “old Ravnica duals presented by Xerox.”

Here’s why I like Theros so far:

• The art is a beautiful departure from the fanboy-ish / pornographic photorealism that’s been the main style since Shards of Alara. Yes, bad art is a part of New World Order, too.
• The card frames are about as good as it gets without, you know, returning to the old one.
• It is possible that, come October, the new Legend rule will go from “irredeemably godawful” to “merely horrendous.”
• Sword-and-sandal and sword-and-sorcery are sweet, but together? A veritable triumvirate. (Back-to-school special: your sexually repressed Latin teacher glossing over the ‘sword-and-sheath’ jokes that every Roman writer made a lot of.)
• I guess the mechanics look fun, too. The incremental advantage from activated abilities makes me slaver like the arriviste reactionary I am. Even if Monstrous really is just a lame version of ROE’s Level Up, Devotion is just a lame version of Eventide’s Chroma, and the reminder text on Bestow has the legal rigor of the Zimmerman jury, it beats Slivers that look as human as Star Trek “aliens.”

“Live long and prosper — don’t be a Magic pro.”

Here’s why you should like Theros:

“Mad Kraken, yo.”

The Shipbreaker is probably too bad for Standard or a regular Cube, but he more than makes up for that in flavor. Pass the Caesar salad, and hold the crab-cracking implements, as he dies to removal just like any Cancrix or Hatchling.

“The Dude Abident.”

On the topic of salad tongs, the Bident seems OK — though the effect was first printed on Coastal Piracy, the new generation that likes stuff like “dudes” and “the combat step” will recognize it from Edric, Ruiner of EDH Games. Artifact and enchantment are two non-interactive card types that, paradoxically, make the Pitchfork easier to kill. I would also like to add that Thassa’s weapon is only two-thirds as cool as the Master of the Pearl Trident’s.

Thassa, God of the Sea 2U

Legendary Enchantment Creature -God M
Indestructible
As long as your devotion to blue is less than five, Thassa isn’t a creature. (Each U in the mana costs of permanents you control adds to your devotion to blue.)
At the beginning of your upkeep, scry 1.
1U: Target creature you control can’t be blocked this turn.
5/5

Cards like this are tough to evaluate, since one has to grasp for precedents, and even then those fail to tell the whole story. My guess is that Thassa isn’t great for Constructed or Cube, since the activated ability is expensive and the Scry 1 trigger is not Dark Confidant or Phyrexian Arena or even Dark Tutelage. I also think we may be underestimating how hard it is to get to five Blue, but pick up a copy and test her! There’s only one way to find out.

“Hungry? Why wait.”

I love Ember Swallower, but I wish they’d costed the Monstrosity activation at six instead. Cubes will not want a 4/5 for 2RR, though he does do a good job of blocking Hellrider, Hero of Oxid Ridge, and Hound of Griselbrand (the Game Triple H’s.)

“The Greeks have gotten less attractive with age — which the pederasts predicted.”

This is another tough card to evaluate. I think they’ll be played a little, but with aggro decks trending towards heavier creature counts and Boros Reckoner already in the three-slot, the potential may be limited. Cubers will enjoy targeting the happy couple with a Flame Jab or Rancor over and over again.

“Satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women …”

The satyr could be abusable, though unlike Burning-Tree Emissary, Lotus Cobra and Priest of Urabrask, he doesn’t leave behind a body (Snapcaster Mage teaches us how potent a 2/1 can be). Also unlike BTE and the Priest, though, he ramps.

“Disco Demolition Night.”

If Smash to Smithereens is played in Legacy, Destructive Revelry can be too. This might be the best Constructed card spoiled so far. Cube curators will have to compare this to Hull Breach, Wear // Tear, Artifact Mutation, and Qasali Pridemage.

“Things have really come to a head.”

Polukranos is my favorite spoiler. The Monstrosity activation will draw comparisons to Bonfire of the Damned and Olivia Voldaren, as well as old-school dumb draft bomb Living Inferno, but Polukranos is much more interesting than those cards. Timing the instant-speed pump correctly will take a lot of judgment and finesse, and it’s nice that after the whole AVR hand-holding soul-bonding no-removal fiasco, Wizards is not afraid to print an ability on a Mythic whose activation could get you blown out.

Thanks for reading. Join me for more previews next week!
CML

@CMLisawesome

They Can Take It, But Not Dish It Out: Toughness and Magic 2014 (Part Three)
an MTG article by: CML

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6. Wall of (Bored to) Tears

Last week, I presented these ideas:

-M14 has no aggressive strategy.
-This results in an inbred metagame, where it’s almost always correct to try and “win the control mirror” by first-picking Opportunity and even Divination.
-Blue is therefore too strong, for maybe the first time since the days of Caw-Blade and Magic 2011.

“The best Core set original printing, ever. You’re welcome.”

7. Build a Wooden Wall

This is bad. New players’ Magic experiences are centered around the combat step. Limited games are centered around the combat step. Much of Standard and Modern are based around the combat step. Trivializing it can bring neither critical nor commercial success.

I’m surprised R&D didn’t consider the power and toughness metrics when designing Magic 2014, as it’s simple and intuitive and predictive of the environment’s deficiencies. I imagine the set would be much better with a few easy adjustments — Pillarfield Ox into Silvercoat Lion; Minotaur Abomination into Minotaur Aggressor — and M14 begs that common question: “If R&D is so good at their jobs, which they are, then why do they release sets like this?” Make no mistake — R&D is good at their jobs; but that topic is outside the scope of this article.

“My last draft deck had so many crabs, they called me the Governor of Maryland.”

The same casual-competitive guy later told me, “Last night I played against a guy who Doom Bladed my best two creatures. I remember thinking, ‘This seems so unfair.’ But then I remembered that it’s exactly what should happen in Limited. It just felt unfair because I couldn’t do it to him — I was just staring at his 2/4 with a Shock in my hand, feeling dumb.”
Another friend put it this way: “M14 is a very old format — you’ll gunk up the ground, then draw four cards and win the game.” I’m reminded of the old cliché, “end-of-turn Fact or Fiction, you lose” — only this time, it’s “end-of-turn Opportunity.” It speaks tomes to the quality of Magic 2014 that it can be so easily pigeonholed.

“For the birds.”

8. Illusionary Wall

What does this mean for Cube design? The connection is almost too easy. A format with bad threats, no pressure, skewed archetype balance, a high curve, too much card draw, too much removal, and one where Blue is just a little too powerful? It’s almost like we’re drafting the Modo Cube.

“One of these things is not like the other …”

At the risk of sounding like I have the same solution for everything, I offer this advice:
-Stuff your Cube full of one-drops, and improve the density and power of the fixing.
-Vary the function, if not the quality, of your removal. For example, Red should have Lightning Bolt, but also Firebolt. White should have Swords to Plowshares, but also Condemn and Prison Term. Stock up on cards like Vindicate and Maelstrom Pulse to get rid of problem permanents. In Black, I’ve often thought of a “removal curve” — at one, I have Innocent Blood and Darkblast; at two, Shriekmaw and Chainer’s Edict; at three, Liliana of the Veil and Bone Shredder; and at four, Seize the Soul and Damnation. Even within a single color, the removal excels against certain kinds of threats, while sucking against others.

“Cloudgoat Ranger? That’s awkward.”

9. Capstone

When I was first getting back into the game, I drafted a lot of Magic 2011 with another friend. He told me, “I like M11 — it feels like old-school Magic.” He meant the childhood experience of playing MtG, rich in fantasy and role-play and grisly creature fights and impromptu deck-building. M14 feels more like playing against the fifth unbeatable draw-go Blue dude in a row. And isn’t that the kind of “old-school Magic” you and I and Wizards are trying our best to forget?

Thanks for reading!
CML
@CMLisawesome on Twitter