I said it before on some other thread on here, but
Death Cloud is secretly a Golgari ramp card. Like Jason mentioned, the best way to use it is to accelerate and pump a lot of mana into it, and then win a grindy game with recursive creatures or other resources that are immune to being sacrificed. It was somewhat of a
thing back in the old Extended format.
I'm not sure if you really need two
Gather the Townsfolk, as it's not intrinsically a very powerful card. I actually like
Doomed Traveler a fair bit, and run him over
Elite Vanguard in my list. If you want more humans for your theme, you can just toss in additional
Champions of the Parish; nothing like driving that tribe home than by giving it more of its best one-drop! You're also missing
Xathrid Necromancer, a key component that allows the archetype to stretch out into black. I'd say that when people draft humans here, WB humans is the most frequent colour combination.